This is the third, and the second recorded released, version of this song. Each one is very different. This is my producer’s favourite track on the album. If you listen you’ll see how he emulated a stormy sky in the song’s ambient sounds. Alberta Blue Sky was the second song I wrote (after Streets of America). After picking up a guitar, not knowing how to play it, I eked out a chord, then another, and found a progression I liked, then put words to the melody and sang it. My son, Colin, who was around 4-years-old, inspired the song. I reused bits of a poem in the lyric I’d written referencing a camping trip to Lion’s Head, Owen Sound, in a new offgrid-living rock-climbing travelling friend’s tiny car with huge canoe on top that hung over the front and back hoods so every time you looked in the rearview mirror, you’d see the canoe. He taught me to dumster dive and we fed a party of witches and warlocks a salad that we got from the back of a grocery store in some small Ontario town then he freeclimbed a limestone mountain just off The Lion’s Head that blue my mind and we camped on that deserted island with a lonely mountain lion pacing outside the tent. The lyric “great big blue Alberta Sky” referenced when I moved to Edmonton from Ontario at around age 16 and stepped out of the plane to remark: “the sky is so blue and big here!”

Alberta Blue Sky words and melody by Sandra Bell (1997)

(song for Colin) in G with 4ths

C X4

You come running like a horse

A X 4

Dressed all in white

Runnin on a black carpet

C X4

Of the night

You come runin into

A

My light

From a window it shone

G X2

So very bright

CHORUS

C X5

I love your beauty in the world

C

You arrive like a unicorn

G X2 C X8

Out of time

I love the way you write the word

Happy with breath across the

G GCG X2

Great big blue__ alberta sky

C X4

I was lookin for you

Long before you came

A X4

Into view

Lookin in the rear view mirror

C X4

Of my brand new canoe

Which is true blue

I hear voices singin’

In this here guitar

A X4

Singing out like your voice

G X4

The day you were set free. . .

CHORUS

C X5

I love your beauty in the world

You arrive like a unicorn

G X2 C X8

Out of time

I love the way you write the word

Happy with breath across the

G GCG X2

Great big blue__ Alberta sky

INSTRUMENTAL

C X4

If you were a white horse

A X5 (unique)

We would fly__ on the wind

C

And if I was a white dove

We would rise upon my wings

We don’t need a thing

Cuz’ you (would) take me

A A X4

Far away from

The black lack of

G (?X4)

Love

CHORUS

C X5

I love your beauty in the world

You arrive like a unicorn

G X2

Out of time

C X8

I love the way you write the word

Happy with breath across the

G

Great big blue__ Alberta sky

WASTELAND (1992)

This is the third (naïve) song I wrote after starting to experiment with songwriting. I found this melody on a guitar that I liked, a few simple chords strung together, and not knowing the instrument, added lyrics, specifically about my fears and frustrations as a new mother. I was worried about the state of the environment and how a dying planet and the nuclear threat might affect my young son’s future.

VERSE 1

Em C

Cup of sand_ in a desert

Em C

Holy grail_ in a wasteland

D C D C

Woman’s love opening_ man’s love opening

Em

In a _ nightmare

CHORUS 1

C

Come in come on in and

Come in come on in

Come in come on in and

Em C Em C

Hold___ me; ho___ld me

D Em

And I will hold you

D Em

I will hold you through.

VERSE 2

The hand is a cup_ if we see__ freedom

There is a cup_ and it ain’t half full.

Tell your little boy he’s gonna be

Tell your little girl she’s gonna be

Safe__ tonight. Yeah right!

In their wasteland. In their wasted land.

CHORUS 2

C

Come in come on in and

Come in come in

Come in come on in and

Hold__me; ho___ld me

And I will hold you.

I will hold you through.

VERSE 3

Mother’s milk is a river, running to the sea.

But if the river it is compromised

Then baby so are we

And the river is becoming

You and me, you and me, you__ and me

In our wasteland, in our wasted land.

CHORUS 3

C

Ho_ld hold___ me

And I will hold you.

I will hold you through

This our wasting land, In our wasted land.

OUT----------

I will hold you like a mother

At-the-end-of e-ternity

I will holy you like a river

running to the sand.

I_ will ho__ld you

I will hold you through.

HOLD US TOGETHER (2005)

This song just fell out of me, melody and lyrics together, and the only one I’ve written that I consider an anthem. It recounts how it takes two people to hold a relationship together and I wrote it from 3 perspectives: ‘me and my sister’, ‘me and my son’, and ‘me and my mythical partner’. Colin was a teenaged boy when I wrote it and we had started experiencing a bit of the normal turbulence that comes with the territory.

G / G / D / D / C / C / Am Am over G (123456) / D over F (123456) slow tempo 6/8 time

VERSE #1

If you can’t see

what you mean to me

just hold it together

come on hold us together.

And I’ll be home soon

makin’ you stronger

I’ll be making you ful-ler,

I’ll be making you for_get what

I__ did. I didn’t mean to

but lover man it takes two

lover man it takes two.

CHORUS #2

So hold us toge__ther

Come on hold us toge_ther

Please hold us toge__ther

Come on hold it toge__ther.

VERSE #2

And if I seem mean

you know it’s not what it seems

so hold it together

come on hold us together.

And I’ll be home soon

makin you stronger

I’ll be makin’ you fuller

I’ll be makin’ you forget whatever

I__ did, I didn’t mean to,

but child-of-mine it takes two

child-of-mine it takes two.

CHORUS #2

So hold us toge__ther

Just hold us toge_ther

Come on hold us toge__ther

Just hold it toge__ther.

BRIDGE

All of our wishin

won't make up for tryin,

don’t make love fine,

won’t make love shine.

We still gotta take it

One step at a time,

each little bitty step

forms a long line.

INSTRUMENTAL 1/2

VERSE #3

And if I seemed distant

chances are there’s a reason

so hold it together

just hold us together.

And I’ll be home_ soon

makin you stronger

I’ll be makin’ you fuller

I’ll be makin’ you forget whatever

I did. I didn’t mean to

but sister girl it takes two,

sister girl it takes two.

CHORUS #3

So hold us together,

just hold us together,

come on hold it together,

please hold us together.

INSTRUMENTAL SOLO OUT

BABY BLUE (2010)

I wrote the song Baby Blue after my son passed away, reflecting on some of the difficulties he faced experiencing mental health issues when he turned 17. His whole life Colin was a talented, compassionate, funny, universally loved young man. It felt as if we lost him first to mental illness and various medical interventions and then to death.

VERSE 1

C

Baby blue you're

Dm G

Blue as a blueberry pie

C

Baby blue you're

Dm G

Blue as a first of July sky

C

There is a warm wind blowin

Dm

Through this night

C

But you cannot stand

Dm f

Up and fight, but if I could

Am

you know I would

G

lift you.

CHORUS 1

C G

We know you're not strong now

C Dm

We know you're probly not comin along now

F G

It's been awhile since we've seen you smile

C F

seems longer than a hundred country miles

C Dm

VERSE 2

C

Baby blue you're

Dm G

Blue as a saphire ring

C

Baby blue you're

Dm G

Blue as a jailed man when he sings

C

There is a warm wind blowin

Dm

Through this night

C

But you cannot stand

Dm f

Up and fight, but if we could

Am

you know we would

G

lift you.

CHORUS 2

C G

We know you're not strong now

C Dm

We know you're probly not comin along now

F G

It's been awhile since we've seen you smile

C F

seems longer than a hundred country miles

C Dm

but if I was a seamstress

F Dm

I'd sew you some wings so you could soar again

C Dm F

and if I was a builder I'd build you your dreams I'd

Dm

hammer anything, because

REFRAIN

C G F G

We love you right to the end

C G F G

of the universe and back again,

C G F G

We love you right to the end

C G F G

of the universe and back again

C G F G

We love you right to the end

C G F G

of the universe and back again,

C G F G

We love you right to the end

C G F G

of the universe and back again twice.

CATCH A FALLING STAR (2010)

I wrote the lines “you need to Catch A Falling Star and put it in your pocket cuz these are the rainy days. We need to lasso you some light and stick it in a socket to push this old darkness away,” after my son Colin died, recalling when he was in the depths of mental illness, and afterwards when I was in the depths of mourning his loss. The lyrics combines his pain with mine, past with present, before with after.

VERSE #1

Whether I’m right__ or wrong

Don’t mean much anymore

I don’t care, the way that I should.

Now that I’m gutted

cut loose,

drifting

and free

this old world... don’t mean much to me.

CHORUS #1

I sit like a stone in my garden

I sleep up to 12 hours a day

I drink to the end of the bottle

trying to keep the pain of losing you away.

Well I need to

catch a falling star and

Put it in my pocket ‘cause

these are the rainy days.

I need to lasso me some light and

stick it in a socket

to push this old darkness away.

VERSE # 2

You walk the line between

knowledge of mercy and machines.

You stay true and honest of heart.

You say fighters die, babies cry,

mothers sigh and zombies fry,

but troubled minds bring

the hardest times.

CHORUS # 2

You sit like a stone in your bedroom

you sleep up to 12 hours a day.

Oh you dream to the end of the dreaming

trying to keep the power of shadows away.

Now you need to

catch a falling star and

put it in your pocket cause

these are the rainy days.

We’re gonna lasso you some light and

stick it in a socket

to push this old darkness away.

CHORUS #3

We’re gonna catch a falling star and

put it in our pockets cause

these are the rainy days.

We’re gonna lasso us some light and

stick it in a socket

to pu__sh this old darkness a-way.

BREAK OF DAY

This bluesy track is the title song of my solo album. It’s probably the clearest expression on the island of my grief: “I don’t know how to be here without you; I don’t know how to be here alone. Everything I had, you took it all with you. This house is no home, just some walls I don’t own.” I wrote the song in a rush at my bandmate Richard Henderson’s Port Perry country house after he and his wife Marion had me over for a week after my son passed away. I went to bed and couldn’t sleep because this melody kept going around in my head, so I just lay there in the dark as the melody developed and I started putting words to it. I turned on the light, grabbed my iphone and wrote the entire song. The next morning, I showed Richard and he brought me over to his piano where he transcribed the melody and played the song and I sang it for the first time. Richard did a wonderful job of laying lap steel on this track and I think made the song with his plaintiff playing, which probably came from watching me go through my grief for so long and from being there at the song’s inception.

I don’t know how

D

To do this without you

A

I don’t know how

E

To be here alone

A

Baby what I have

F#m

You took it all with you

A

This house is no home

E A D A

Just some walls I don’t own.

VERSE 2

D

When I was a queen

A

And you were my prince love

D G D

We built us a king__dom

A F#m

Of praise for the sun

A E

could only be one way

A D A

to tear this apart

CHANGE

A D

if the sun took a pass

A D

if the moon it fell down

A D

if the hands of the clock turned backwards

A F#m (8 BARS)

and the rain it flew up

CHORUS

A D

There is a song that is written on the wind

A E

And it’s sung in the way you said goodbye

A A7 D

There is a poem that’s been crying all along

A E A D A

Makin for the break of day

INSTRUMENTAL

VERSE

The moon is held up

By the head of a straight pin

Attached to a strand of your shining hair

And when you fell down

The moon it fell with you

A D

and the sun took a pass

A D

and the hands of the clock turned backwards

A F#m (8 BARS)

and the rain it flew up

CHORUS

(“break of day” with tags: A E A D A; A E A D A; A F#m E A D A.)

A D

There is a song that is written on the wind

A E

And it’s sung in the way you said goodbye

A A7 D

There is a poem that’s been crying all along

A E A D A

Makin for the break of day

FINAL VERSE

A

I don’t know how

D

To do this without you

A

I don’t know how

E

To be here alone

A

Baby what I have

F#m

You took it all with you

A

This house is no home

E A D A

Just some walls I don’t own.

IF YOU WENT AWAY (2009)

This song came out of my grief and love for my son after he passed away, and out of my love for bluegrass and country music. After we recorded it, this was the only song I wasn’t sure if I wanted to include in the album because it sounded too happy - which I was anything but at the time I wrote it. My producer Andrew Collins encouraged me to keep it and pointed out that some sad songs are made more poignant by the juxtaposition of sounding cheerful.

VERSE 1

G C G

I’m on the front porch

D

Shuckin’ peas into a bowl on

G C G

my knees, and you’re inside drummin’

D

makin a beautiful noise

A C G

And all I need is

D

just to say please and

G C G

thank you, thank you,

D G

for being here

CHORUS 1

G C G

But if you went away

C G

The world would turn grey

D

The colour burned out with

Nothing the same and

people walkin round

like ghosts in their own skin

And everythin lost with

no beginning

If you went away.

G C G

TURNAROUND

VERSE 2

And then we’re in the back field

pluckin’ berries for desert later on and

you are the prince of our Cape Breton land and

A C G

And all I need is

D

just to say please and

G C G

thank you, thank you,

D G

for bein' here

C G D

CHORUS 2

G C G

But then you went away,

C G

the whole world would turn grey,

D

the colours burned out with

nothin the same with and

people walked round

like ghosts in their own skin

and everything lost with

no beginnin'

when you went away

G C G

VERSE 3

G C G

And now I’m on the subway

D

indentured to the gold and the green

G C G

and to rich families toys and to

D

smithereens and

A C G

all I have is

D

when I said please and

G C G

thank you, thank you,

D G

for bein' here

C G D

CHORUS 3

G C G

Oh when you went away

C G

the whole world would turned grey

D

the colours burned out and

nothin's the same and

people walkin round

like ghosts in their own skin

and everything’s lost with

no beginnin'

cause you went away

G C G

a-a-a-way.

WE PRAISE THE DAY

I wrote: “We praise the day our lives came together. We praise the tender, open, bleeding heart. We praise the raging sun for shining down on everyone. We praise the time we had to come undone.” I loved this song so much after I wrote it that I sang a gentler version to my father when he was dying in the hospital as a way of saying how grateful I was for him and for the time we'd had together. But the inspiration for the song came after my son passed away, remembering how I’d always told him growing up how incredibly lucky in this huge universe we were to have been materialized in the same place and time, to be here together for whatever time we would have.

VERSE 1

G

I give to you

C. G

To give to me

D F

They are but two sides of

C G

The same tree

C

You're not conventionally rich

G

but you're amazed

D

by your riches

F Em to G

you are amazed.

VERSE 2

Turn from this wreck

don't linger here

in the same sadness

year after year

inside the silence

I love you dear

forget the sadness

don't linger there.

CHORUS 1

C

We praise the day

G

our lives came together

C

We praise the tender open human heart

F

We praise the raging sun

G to Em

for shining down on everyone

C D G

We praise the time we had to come undone.

VERSE 3

Oh if you could

you'd make it clear

that you are with me

so please do not fear

don't give death power

over a life

just hold me dear

and I'll here.

CHORUS 2

We praise the day our lives came together

we praise the tender open human heart

We praise the raging sun for shining down on everyone

We praise the time we had to come undone.

INSTRUMENTAL

CHORUS 3

We praise the day our lives came together

we praise the tender open human heart

We praise the raging sun for blazing down on everyone

We praise the time we had to come undone.

HANG ON (2009)

I wrote this song and the lyrics “Hang on just breathe, you can breathe through it” after Colin died because the grief was so intense I was reminded of the incredibly intense experience of giving birth to him. With no medical interventions, the only way through it was to just breathe.

VERSE 1

Em

I got grief_, a neck pain, a wide universe

Of no you to love.

G C

I got blood, no money, no here-and-now

yo__u to love

D

But I got wild_flower-mem_ories

Em

Of our life and dreams

C D G

And I got frie_nds I ca_re about

(down to Em)

Who-care-about-me

C D

And that’s e-nough to put__one foot

Em

in front of the oth__er.

CHORUS 1

G D

Ha__ng on, be strong

Am Em

You can breathe__ through_ it

Hang on just-breathe

You can do_____ it.

VERSE 2

I got fog, inclement weather, a loggie head

And no you to love.

I got no rock to mark your triumph,

No wing man or swe_et you to love.

But I got wild_flower-memories

Of-our-time-by-the-sea

And I got friends__ I care a-bout

Who-care-about-me

And that’s enough to put one foot

in front of the other.

CHORUS INSTRUMENTAL

VERSE 3 (8 bars longer)

Got your ghost haunting my days, got

all your gifts, but no_ you__ to love.

Got our photographs of your pretty face

But no flesh-and-blood you to love.

Got this craving life-sized addiction

can’t get a fix of sweet you_ to love.

But I got wild_flower-memories

of laughing with you easy

But I got friends I care about

Who-care-about-me

And that’s enough to put__ one foot

in front of the-other.

CHORUS 2

Ha__ng on, be strong

You can breathe through it

Hang on just-breathe

You can do_____ it.

REPEAT – SLOW TEMPO

Ha__ng on, be strong

You can breathe through it

Hang on just-breathe

You can do_____ it.

I KNOW YOU BY HEART

These lyrics are perhaps the most tender in the album, I think: In I Know You By Heart: “I love you like a river loves rain; I need you like blind men need vision and beggars have something to gain. I know you, I know you, I know you, by heart.” Before I wrote I Know You By Heart I was overwhelmed with this desire to put into song how much I love Colin. Despite this gigantic impulse and how daunting it was to fulfill, this was an easy song to write - and it’s just as easy to sing. It’s probably my sweetest song.

VERSE 1

C

I still run to you

Come to you

F

Think only of you

C

When the sun shines and

G C

Through the dark night.

VERSE 2 (2 extra lines)

C G

I will conjure you, sing for you

Am F

Live my life for you

C

When the snow flies and

G C

The Spring flowers rise.

CHORUS 1

F

I love you

C

Like the river loves rain (bass CBAG)

F

I need you like

Blind men need vision and

C

Beggars have something to gain (Bass CBAm)(Am)

G

I know you, I know you

Am F C

I know you by heart.

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK

VERSE 3

C

I still run to you

Come to you

F

Think only of you

C

When the sun shines and

G C

Through the dark night.

VERSE 4 (2 extra lines)

C G

I will conjure you, sing for you

Am F

Live my life for you

C

When the snow flies and

G C

The Spring flowers rise.

CHORUS 2

F

I love you

C

Like the river loves rain (bass CBAG)

F

I need you like

Blind men need vision and

C

Beggars have something to gain (Bass CBAm)(Am)

G

I know you, I know you

Am F C

I know you by heart.

(1 TAG)

I know you, I know you

I know you by heart.